A birthday to remember as the years move past us.
My sister Mary has a birthday on February 11.
We have a long history of good and bad that was shared between us.
She was the middle sister.
Her life was hard, and confusing and she struggled a lot.
She also survived way more than anyone should have in her life time.
She was at times funny, and at other times harsh, although I personally never experienced that side of her.
She had what is called an addictive personality and in high school (which she never finished) she was into drugs.
Later she moved into the alcohol to numb the pains of her past.
She did not know how to cope with life in a normal way.
I was her voice when it came to important decisions as she aged and needed more care.
It was always hard, and challenging for her.
She had a husband who loved her to the very end; until he passed away before her in 2006.
At that time in her life she was very much into the bottle and very toxic to herself.
She was on hospice when she moved into our home, even before her husband passed away.
Our family detoxed her from a fifth of vodka to six ounces in six weeks or less.
It was a determined effort and it was extremely hard.
We had an amazing doctor who worked with us and we had to get her well enough to move.
There was no way she would ever survive on her own, she was too ill, and near deaths door.
In time she healed, in time she stopped the alcohol, in time she moved from a foster home, to an assisted living home.
They were able to take care of her and keep her safe.
Eventually years later, she moved from there to a family members home.
My sister passed away June 8th, 2019.
I will always remember our times together.
The hard, the sweet, the tender and the challenging.
Before she left the assisted living home, my husband and I would go to visit her.
At first we would take her out for a meal and then that became such an ordeal for all of us,
we decided to just take her a box of doughnuts.
She loved her sweets and she enjoyed the treat.
So now every year on her birthday, I get a doughnut in memory of her.
She was and always will be a part of my life. A sister to me.
A birthday to remember as the years move past us.