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our choice

Maya Angelou said :
“People will forget what you say,
people will forget what you do,
but people will never forget how you make them feel.”

I find this challenging today.

Just a short note… challenging us.

To remember, our words can have an impact on someone each day.
So it is our choice – To be thoughtful, kind, encouraging, edifying, gentle and perhaps even prayerful.

Relationships are not to be taken for granted.
Time is challenging us all. LIFE is challenging us all.
None of us knows when our days here are through.
So what we do with those days are simply a choice.

I heard a saying one time, not sure of the author.
“As you invest in others, you are investing in yourself also.”
another one,
“The greatest tragedy in life is choosing not to fully live.”

Let us live with intention.

God’s light

The other day I was listening to a southern Gospel show, and I heard a comment that really grabbed my attention.
“We must never forget in the dark, what we know as truth in the light”.

As I listened to this, I was moved to remember the many times,
I have been alone at night.
Not feeling comfortable or safe. Every creak and noise magnified by the very reality that, ‘I was alone’. Every time the dog barked, it meant someone was outside. Every shadow or perceived shadow, a bad one. Someone could be lurking out there, waiting to come in.
What I know as truth, in the light of the day is this.
God is safe. God is here always. God protects.
God sends His Angels to guard and protect. God will never leave me ‘abandoned’.
He rescues me. He is greater than the darkness. His power is more powerful.
All I have to do is speak “I need you”, and his presence is near.
(Even though He is near always, my voice, activates my faith)
Gods Word is true always.
If I let fear come near and the unknown rule over me.
Then I have allowed the light to become blurred, by the darkness.
At night when I am alone, and my husband is gone. I do not have to fear the shadows at the window. I do not have to fear, or allow my imagination to startle me, with pretend images.
I can trust. I can know what is true. I can make a choice to believe. The angels will surround me with protection and peace.
The doors are locked.
I am safe from the outside.
When our son was little, maybe 4 or 5 we were all sleeping, and he came running into our room. As a rule the children weren’t supposed to be in our room, but this night we could see and experience his ‘night terror’.
“Dad, something is in my room, and it is breathing in and out, and it is scary,” he said in a child like whisper, looking very frightened and scared.
As a mom and dad who were just sound asleep down the hall from their children.
This was NOT something you want to hear from your child. Especially from one who is visibly terrified.
The story continues; “Dad it is over my bed, and it is big and moving, It woke me up and I’m scared”, the trembling voice of our son looking for reassurance and safety.
The picture is in my mind as I remember the scene. The young dad and son, facing our sons fear together hand in hand, as they walked down the hall to his room.
They entered the door way and turned on the light.
Holding their breaths, expecting to find, some evil thing startled standing in the room.
I waited with anticipation and fears of my own.
I heard down the hall, giggling, and laughing.
The evil monster turned out to be a hat, hanging at the end of the bed post.
The air from the heat vent, made it move in and out, appearing way more scary than it really was.
What was scary in the dark, now became exposed in the light.
The power of the moment ended with a huge sigh of relief, a little boys laugh and a very funny memory for us all.
The rest of the night was calm.
Our son went back to sleep, knowing the bad monster was no longer a threat. We settled back to bed, with a mommy and daddy sigh of relief, that our crisis was over.
When we face times of uncertainty and fear. When the ‘shadows’ overwhelm us.
We can claim victory over the dark places.
Psalm 18:28 “you light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness.”
John 1:5 “The light shined in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it”
Psalm 27: “The Lord is my light and my salvation–why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, why should I tremble?”
Our son is now a daddy with two sons of his own.
He will someday need to walk down the hall with them, hand in hand ready to face, the evil monster.
When they do, I pray he will remember what is fearful in the night, might not be anything when the light is near.
The light is brighter than the darkness.
I hope this brings encouragement to you.
Psalm 56:13 “For you have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in your presence, O God, In your life-giving light.” God’s life giving light.

A friends prayer

Have you ever read the book of Job?
The other day I was reading some of it. The part that really became fascinating was the conversations between God and Job.
Now the very thought of even having a conversation with God, is an idea that doesn’t come naturally to me. I mean God, was talking to Job in the midst of a whirlwind. So it was the sound of whooshing air yet Job knew it was words? It said ‘The Lord answered Job from the whirlwind’.
I challenge you to read chapters 38, 39, 40, 41 and 42. It is awesome. I was reading it with great interest, and the most fascinating part was God’s challenge.

Several times in the passages God said to Job; “Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.” He says this at least two times.
Wow, CAN you imagine? God saying… “Brace yourself…. I am going to be talking to you and YOU must answer me.” Then He continues, chapter 40 vs 1 “Do you still want to argue with the Almighty? You are God’s critic, but do you have the answers?”

At one point Job answers him, chapter 40 vs 1-6. He becomes humbled. He realizes, HE should not be saying a word to God, other than humble words.
“I am nothing – how could I ever find the answers? I will cover my mouth with my hand. I have said too much already I have nothing more to say”.

Again I am in awe, that God would challenge Job, and gently Bless him back into the relationship again.
Isn’t it an awesome example for us to see God’s power, and His desire for relationship with us. He says later in chapter 42, when He is talking to a friend of Job’s…”My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer on your behalf. I will not treat you as you deserve, for you have not spoken accurately about me, as my servant Job has.” vs 10 When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact the Lord gave him twice as much as before. At the end it said ‘Job lived 140 years after that, living to see four generations of his children and grandchildren. Then he died, an old man who lived a long, full life.’

The prayers of a good friend is a gift we all need.
Today I spent time with my best friend, we shared from our hearts. It was good. A time for us to be reconnected, as sisters in the Lord and as good friends. When I ask her to pray for me I know she does. I don’t question it, I just know. It is important for her.
This reading in Job was powerful for me.
It spoke to me of relationship, of discipline, of love, of restoration and of humility.
After all that, a long full life.
What more could we ask for?

I challenge you today, to read the book of Job.
It is a good reminder of God’s power, love and desire to do good things for us.

A Birthday

Today is my sister Mary’s birthday.
It is a miracle we thought would never happen.

In 2006, She was put on hospice with the diagnosis of death pending.
She was wheelchair bound, as she slumped over in the chair, with her 90 pound starving frame. One really won’t understand it all, without the pictures. They paint a picture of our reality in ways, that words can never do.
Her husband died before she did on July 26th, 2006. He was her caregiver.
It was a sad and horrible day for us all. Unexpected. Shocking. Numbing.
My sister who was dying just became a widow.
We brought her home in the quiet silence of the car, each of us in our own thoughts. She slept.
Soon our family room became a resting place for the dying.
Instead, she lived.
Her desire to live was stronger, than the force within her, to die.
Even though we helped save a life.
It was a journey none of us would ever want to repeat.
She was drowning in the sea of alcoholism, and like life guards, we jumped in and saved her.
It was hard, it was really hard. I don’t know how to swim, so it was very exhausting for me especially. We gave round the clock care. I slept by her bed on a cot for 6 weeks. Giving medications, every two hours, and spoon feeding her bites of mild foods.
Detoxing the demons out of her daily.
It was an incredibly hard experience, yet in the midst of the difficulty, we had some comedy relief.
Remembering the middle of the night, when I was SO exhausted to take her outside to smoke. I gave her one that was unlit, as she laid in her bed. She smoked it for 4 days. The same cigarette. Not ever realizing, it was never lit. I just leaned over her hospital bed with a dish, and said ‘dump your ashes’, and she did. There were none, but she didn’t know or care. She wanted her cigarette. I would watch her inhale and exhale pretend smoke. Feeling relieved I did not have to go out in the dark of the night.
The hospice team said it was a great idea. We have all laughed at the image of her, in bed smoking the unlit cigarette. I was just very tired and smoking was not important to me.
In 6 weeks, we brought her down from a massive amount of straight vodka, to two small doses, prescribed. You can’t totally remove all alcohol it has to be removed slowly. Her doctor was marvelous and knew what he was doing. He believed in the process, and helped us through many difficult moments. The hospice team extremely helpful, and most of all the Chaplain.
Almost four years later, she is alcohol free. Healthy. Living in an assisted living home, and thriving. She weighs 156 pounds and her brain is coming back.
It is a story of love, sacrifice, hope and sister hood. It is a story of family.
Our family.
A journey of life, death, and life again.
It is a story of sisters.
So today I wish my sister a Happy 57th Birthday.
In fact I tease her now; saying to her, “you better take classes on how to take care of the elderly. You will probably be taking care of ME some day.”
If you would have asked me, could I ever do all that? I would have said NO WAY. I am not a caregiver.
God brings to each one of us different seasons of our lives.
If we are not prepared, He will give us the strength, the patience and the willing heart. To do what needs to be done, for that season.
We brought my sister home to die, in a safe place so she would not be alone. We had no idea what we were doing, but God was with us through the process.
I am thankful that my sister chose life. This story is about her journey.

Her desire to better herself. I am thankful that she can enjoy her grand children now. Be healthy for her children, and even be healthy for us. I am thankful that I can say to her “Happy Birthday.”
It is a story of sisters.

A heart search

Psalm 139: 23-24 (the message)
Investigate my life, O God, find everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a picture of what I am about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong – then guide me on the road to eternal life.

Another version:
Psalm 139: 23-24
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the everlasting path.
———
Each of these versions speak of searching, knowing, testing and guiding.

The choice is ours every morning when we wake up.
We can ask God to show us what we need to correct.
What we need to improve on.
Even what we need to do, to become more trusting.
In order for me personally to say to God, please show me what needs to be changed.

I have to trust Him and be willing to listen.
I have to allow Him to examine my heart.
I have to be willing for Him to test me.

What if that test causes me pain?
Am I willing to have that pain, so that I can be given a stronger character through it?
I don’t believe we are given circumstances that we cannot handle.
We might not feel like we want to, or feel able, but HE knows our heart, because we have asked Him. He knows our intentions, because we have given Him permission, to get a picture of who we really are.

As age has come upon me, one thing that has been affected is my night driving. The weather makes me anxious, the darkness makes me anxious. My vision is not as good, and that makes me anxious. What has helped in this process is praying. As I am driving, no not with my eyes shut, I am praying for a calm heart, and for Him to remove my anxious thoughts.
If we ask Him, we must be willing to allow Him to lead and guide.
It is trust.

I pray that as we grow in our Christian walk, from our hearts cry, we will be willing to say.

Search me oh God.
See if there is any wrong way in me and remove it.
Make it SO clear to me that I will want it away; and not offend you.
Help me Lord, to have an open teachable heart, so you can guide me.

Psalm 143:8
Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.

At the Cross

Sunday when we were in church, the worship leader played a song.
It ministered to my heart, and I felt a longing to share more about what the Lord was showing me through it.
The chorus:
At the cross you beckon me,
Draw me gently to my knees,
And I’m lost for words, and so lost in love
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrender

The song has been playing in my head since I heard it.
I wondered what the word beckon meant.
you beckon me.
Dictionary.com said: to wave and/or nod to somebody with the intention to make the person come closer.
God beckons us, waves to us, ‘come here, come be with me’. Draw near to me.
His intention for us is to draw near and come closer.
I visualized the scene in the movie, at the foot of the cross where Mary and the ladies were sobbing and grieving. Remember the scene; can you go there with me? How the reality of His death, brought the reality of His Life to them. They were drawn near because of their love. He draws near to us, because of His love.

It is an awesome thought.

Have you ever been somewhere, maybe in a store or after a church service, and you see someone you know, and you wave to them to get their attention. As if to say, come here, I want to talk to you.
That is what this is saying; to wave/nod with the ‘intention’ to make the person come closer.
He is saying to us, “please come, I want to share with you”.
Draw me gently, closer to the one who is asking.

I wondered, in this context what did draw mean?
Dictionary.com said: to drag or pull
So He is beckoning us to come near, pulling our hearts, toward a new experience with Him, to fall on our knees in humble praise. Moving our hearts into a new reality, just as the women at the foot of the cross were moved.
I am lost for words…I think when we SEE Jesus, we have no words, only worship.

I am lost in love…that means focused. Nothing around me can distract me.
God is asking for relationship.
He is calling to us, waving to us, saying to us, “remember me?”
Just as we would do towards a friend who we really want to talk to.
It is an awesome thought to realize, the God of the universe cares enough for us, to ask us to draw near. He desires us to make the move, drawing us gently, not forcing us, but gently drawing us to our knees.

It is not accidental. Come near, He is waving us purposely to come close. Do you grasp it yet? It is relationship.
How blessed are we as people. To have a God who cares for us so deeply, to desire a relationship with us. (remember the hymn ‘what a friend we have in Jesus?)
He promises, if we draw near to Him, HE will draw near to us.
James 4: Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

The other part of the song.
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrender.
That means, He breaks our sinful nature softly ‘not in an abrupt’ way.
Sweetly broken, gives me a word picture of how someone would hold a baby. Sweetly nurturing.
We are broken in a gentle loving way. As we surrender our lives to Him, ‘wholly surrender’ that means ‘whole’, all parts of our our lives.
Only through the cross, and only through the Lord and His love can we do this.

Psalm 63:2,3,4
I have seen you in the sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
Psalm 108:1
My heart is confident in you, Oh God; no wonder I can sing your praises with all my heart!

I pray, that as we walk with the Lord, when he beckons us to come near, we will rush to His side, to spend time with Him.
Just as the women at the cross cried over the reality of His death, may we cry over the reality of the Life He gives to us?
This is my challenge today.

Pay attention

It was in the middle of the morning. I was watching my niece’s baby, Lily. She is just barely 5 months old, very cute and sweet. She reminds me of a little teddy bear, only a bit busier. I had put a short sleeved shirt on her, the house was cool that day. Not sure why. Usually she moves her arms around in a very busy way, and is so happy to be playing. This day she held her hands together, or her arms across her chest, over each other. Sitting still and seeming to be unhappy. I noticed the chill in the air, and realized she might be cold. The dryer had clothes drying and some of her clothes, were in that load. I pulled them out and put on her a warm shirt with warm pants, changed her diaper and she was content. I moved that illustration to a heart issue. If our hearts are cold, we are less receptive to what is around us. We cross our arms around us, rather than reach out. We hold our hands, rather than the hands of others. It was a powerful illustration for me. She could not say to me; I am cold, yet she could tell me in other ways. Her level of comfort was in distress. How does our heart tell us we are in distress? We lose sleep. We grieve. We argue with others, or become impatient. We frustrate easily, over silly things. We become less friendly or nice to be around. When our hearts are in distress, our whole mannerism is off. Our character is off. We become less focused and free. Less enjoyable to be around. I thought this illustration was powerful. God often allows us to ‘feel’ something in order for us to attend to it. We may try to do works, to make us feel better, or we may try duties or chores, to make us feel better. Just as I attended to Lily’s physical needs, I could not take care of her immediate need. Until I realized what it was, she was cold. I found it amazing as soon as I put warm clothes on her, changed her diaper and put her to bed with two blankets, she slept for two hours. She was comfortable and no longer cold. Her distress level was minimized. It was an easy fix. I just had to pay attention to the need. Can we move this closer, as an example for our lives? How do we know when our heart is hurting or in distress? Wouldn’t it be good to pay attention, and realize, when we close off instead of reach out? Can we ask God to nudge us, when we begin to close off our feelings for others? Can we ask Him to show us, when we hold onto ourselves, instead of those around us? Just as Lily held her own hands, we hold our own. Maybe instead we should reach out for the hand of the ‘Saviour’, who brings order into our world. Then allow HIM to show us what is wrong in our heart. So the challenge today is, ‘what are you feeling?’ Is there something you are trying to push away? Wouldn’t it be easier to just ‘pull out of the dryer’ a warm shirt, acknowledge the distress, and start our day over? God wants us to pay attention to the needs of our hearts, and the hearts of those around us. If I had not paid attention to Lily’s body language, she might have been a sad, discomforted baby all day. I pray that as our eyes open, we listen to the needs of our hearts, and ask God to show us the heart needs of others. We might become truly blessed by what we experience, as we listen.

A new pantry

The other day Larry and I were talking about building up a pantry. In the days ahead one never knows what calamity may take place. Having assorted canned goods, propane, water and even necessary paper products, might be a good thing. I was making a list of what would be easy to store and keep on a shelf. Then the idea came to me.

How often do we think about building up a ‘spiritual’ pantry? I know the idea is a new and different one. Think of it in this way. When we have a bad day, wouldn’t it be good to grab hold of a portion of peace, or grace, or patience, or kindness? What about forgiveness?
If we have an attitude of the heart that is spiritual and focused on Jesus. It would benefit us to have a storage place of the grace, that we might need for the day.

Matthew said ,”Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will be”.
So if the desires of our heart is to be prepared. Then we would need to instill in us, a storage place of the attributes of God. The Holy Spirit can fill us with HIS likeness. So when grief hits us we can pull out hope, when we become fearful, we can pull out peace, when we become angry, we can pull out forgiveness. It is all about choice and decision making. It is becomes a decision of our hearts.
Just as we would create and build a food pantry for perilous times. We must choose to build up within our spirit and our life, an abundant supply, of HIS likeness and attributes. For if we walk in the spirit we must show that, towards others and maybe even ourselves.

So the challenge for us today is this. What is our focus?

Jude 20,21,22: But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God’s love.

We are not promised safety in this life, but we are promised safety in the love of God.
How awesome of a thought is that. I hope this writing today has been a challenge to provoke a new thought. What are we storing up and becoming prepared for?

A quiet voice

Our pastor was sharing with us a few weeks ago, about the passage in 1 Kings 19:11-13;
Then he was told, “Go stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by.”
A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn’t to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn’t in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn’t in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.
When Elijah heard the quiet voice, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave and stood there. A quiet voice asked, “So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?”
I have been thinking about this for some time now.
God was asking Elijah, what are you doing? Why are you running from me and hiding?
There are several things to think about in these verses. First one, God knew where to find him. Second, God showed him the majesty and power, that only God can produce. Third, Elijah was humbled.
The other thought I have had rumbling in my mind, like a dryer full of warm clothes.
God whispered. God whispered with a soft quiet voice.

We have all heard about the horse whisperer book, and even maybe watched the movie. Then there was a baby whisperer book, dog whisperer book, and maybe more that I don’t know about. But the thought I am trying to share is this. In order to hear a whisper, one has to quiet their heart. The purpose of those books is to teach the reader how to quiet, a scared, and unruly behavior. I want to challenge us, today.
Do we quiet ourselves long enough, to listen to the whisper? Do we sit still long enough, to hear the softness of a voice of a mighty GOD, who could do much more than whisper? Do we turn the TV off and the computer, the radio and cell phone, to listen? We make time for other voices, why do we not make time for HIS?
It tells me that God knows, the only way we can change, from the inside. Is to be relational through a whisper. It speaks to me of a calming effect. An intimate question. A quiet voice only for us. When you think of a whisper, you think of something private. It is not for all to know or hear. My granddaughter came into the den one day, and said ‘grandma, I have a secret, let me tell you’. As she came close to whisper it in my ear. It was for me and her. She smiled and giggled, knowing I heard her secret, and I was safe enough to share it with her.
Is God doing that, within us?
In order for us to hear God’s whisper to us, we must be still, quiet, receptive and waiting.
A holy hush. Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God”. Be still. Know my power. God showed Elijah power, before he showed him peace. The calming effect of a whisper. I challenge us today, to brew a cup of tea, grab a piece of paper, and quiet our hearts.
Are you ready to listen to the still small voice of a whisper?
The paper is to write down what we hear.

“Be STILL and know that I am God”.
How awesome it is to know, He cares enough for us to reach us through a whisper.

Her name is Faith

Our oldest grand daughter was a preemie.
She arrived nearly 7 weeks early, weighing 2 pounds 11 ounces. A wonderful bright eyed, very tiny baby. Our first experience with grand parenting.
It was scary, and we were full of prayer. She had to stay in the neonatal side of the hospital for several weeks, and then they released her to come home early. She weighed only 3 pounds 9 ounces. She was healthy and precious and I knew I had to be a part of this child’s life. Our daughter needed to go back to work, and I quit my job to stay home, to nurture this vulnerable precious little baby.
She started out sleeping in an old fashioned, white wicker baby basket. I had found it at an antique shop, it was old and marvelous. When she slept she looked like a little doll, so tiny and precious. As she grew, we moved her upstairs into a crib and into our spare room.
I would leave the baby monitor on, and listen, as I was downstairs doing assorted chores and duties. It was nice, and we were used to the schedule we had grown accustomed to. She knew that was her room, and her space and her bed. It was safety to her.
As she grew older, she began to talk and play in the crib. It was wonderful.
I had the baby monitor on, so I could hear when she would woke up, knowing I might have to get her right away. My favorite memories, were of her waking up slowly, with her tiny baby voice and baby words. She would start by saying ‘Hi baby’ to the doll in her bed, ‘hi blankey, hi teddy’, she always had a menagerie of dolls, bears, blankets and who knows what else she ‘had’ to sleep with.
Valued items for a baby. I didn’t make a big deal about them. It was her bed and as long as she slept, I didn’t care what she took with her.
I would sit in my chair downstairs and listen to the wonderful ‘baby’ noises.
She and I laugh about it now. She is 10 almost 11 and in 5th grade, but she remembers my stories of long ago. She will say to me, “tell me about the time when I was in the crib”… “and I was saying ‘I am running’ “oh my daddy and I were laughing about that” then she would give me the full detailed report, of what I had shared with her so often. It was precious to me.
When she was a baby, I waited downstairs listening to her. She would say, ‘Nama’ (my name when she was very small) ‘I am running’ and I would hear the crib squeak and little feet scuff onto the crib mattress. Then she would say, ‘Nama, I am jumping’ and again the squeak of a crib mattress rubbing against a wire frame. She would jump with great joy, as a child so happy after a nap.
I learned how she needed to wake up slowly and enjoy the quiet time.
It brought me great joy to hear her sweet voice.
After a while it would become quiet. Then I would hear her say, ‘Nama, come get me’… ‘I want out’… ‘come get me Nama.’ ‘please get me out’. Her sad pitiful voice, knowing she herself could not get out of the crib, even if she wanted to do it.
As I think of this scene I often wonder, if God had a monitor on us, would he hear, “daddy I am running…I am jumping…I need you…please come get me…I want out…Please rescue me.”
I wonder, does He listen with the same smile I had; when I listened to my precious grand daughter?
He loves us just as much. He longs for us to say. “Daddy I want out, please come get me.”
We can open the door to our heart, as I opened the door to her room. It is easy.
I would see her reach out to me with a huge hug and smile. She knew I was her rescuer.
She knew, I would take her out of that room and into a different place. She was released into the arms of safety and held by the one she loved.
How is that so different from our relationship to God?
My challenge today is this; do we allow God to delight in us, as we ask Him to rescue and save us?
Do we say, daddy I need you? Do we realize that sometimes we cannot get out of a situation.
Just as Faith could not get out of her crib?
Unless He helps us. We are alone.
She knew she needed me.
We need to know… ‘we need God’.
Are you challenged today?
I pray that this writing gave you a picture of what ‘our daddy’ wants.
As he rescues, protects and rejoices in us.