by Sharon O | Feb 11, 2020 | Uncategorized
Today would be my sister’s birthday,
She passed away June eighth of last year.
She was about fourteen months older than me.
I was the youngest of three daughters.
I was not able to see her before she died and that will always be a ‘hard thing’ for me to deal with.
It just couldn’t happen and I had to come to terms with the knowing, ‘she was dying without me’.
I know she was a believer and I do think and feel in my heart that she went home to heaven.
She had a rough life with many lives as we always teased her about ‘which one she was using up this time.’
(you know like a cat has nine lives?)
She was a survivor.
A challenge on many levels, and I often thought of the song in Sound of Music, “How do you solve a problem like Maria?” Because she was like that, she wasn’t a problem she just had many complicated issues to deal with and as she aged those issues magnified.
She was on hospice two times. She had a lot of humor and when she wasn’t; she was pretty simple and sometimes difficult to deal with. She was one of those children years ago, who should have required more help in school.
She grew up and did ok. Her ability to adapt was always there and she learned to be very street smart.
She had a husband who loved her till the day he died.
As she aged we were able to move her to an assisted living home and she had an apartment full of stuff; it would look like a well kept hoarder space.
Not garbage or junk just a lot of stuff crammed into many shelves, cabinets or drawers.
She smoked many years and that finally caught up with her.
I was her advocate for many years. Even as the little sister I spoke words to the professionals about her.
She never finished school, and never really drove very much. (Thank God)
I brought her home from Arkansas paying her way because I knew if I didn’t she would never come back home.
She did and so did her family.
Today would be my sister’s birthday. The first one since she passed away.
I will always miss her, and always remember the times we spent together.
Mary I miss you, and I pray you are once more with the one who loved you.
by Sharon O | Feb 7, 2020 | Uncategorized
Continuing this journey of healing, Monday the 3rd I went into the radiology cancer center for the beginning phase of radiation.
They led me into a back waiting room and I sat down while waiting for someone to tell me what I was supposed to do next, this is all new to me and I was very unsure.
A man walked by and asked if I was waiting for something, “Yes I am here for the first procedure.”
He told me I would need a gown and a robe for privacy and showed me where to change.
Then he told me it would be a CT scan which surprised me.
I changed and waited for another lady to come get me.
We entered a room with a machine in it.
She had me lay down on my back and then she marked the radiation spots.
The doctor came in and placed tape where they wanted to focus on. Then she left the room.
The lady had me hold my arms up above my head and hold onto a bar. I was on a soft formed pillow.
The machine whirled above me and I kept thinking it was like a MRI only not as noisy.
When that was over she said, “now you get your tatoo’s.”
I wouldn’t want one on a normal day and definitely not on a radiation day.
She gave me three pokes that hurt and I was totally not thrilled.
I imagine it has to do with the placement of the radiation sites.
We left there and went home.
Wednesday the 5th I had to go back to the hospital for a bone scan.
That was another whirling machine only I did not have to get in a robe and it was very fast.
After that appointment we had to go to a dermatology appointment for my husband.
He had some basal cell tissue removed on his arm and they were evaluating the next phase for him.
His next biopsy will be after my radiation is over.
The rest of this week I have been relaxing since I know the next month is going to be very hard.
My husband went to the beach yesterday and worked with the guys and today he is at a sportsman show.
He needs down time too.
Continuing this journey of healing I will try to document it all so I won’t forget the details.
by Sharon O | Jan 31, 2020 | Uncategorized
The pathology report plus some other news has been the agenda for the last week or so.
According to what I was told the pathology report was very good and all the margins around the surgery site, were clear. This is very good news and it basically means the cancer was removed when I had the biopsy.
Now I still have things I must do in order to finish this process.
I met with the oncologist and we talked about a medication I will be taking but first I have to have a bone scan.
It is important to find out if I have weakened bones or not before this medication gets in my system.
I also will be starting radiation in a week or two.
I have to go in for the initial radiation markings then the following week it will be every day, five days a week for four weeks.
I’m nervous about the radiation process.
It is going to be hard on my sensitive skin but I will do it because I need to and at least I don’t have to have chemo.
I now have a surgeon, an oncologist, a general care doctor and a radiology doctor.
This whole process has been quite the journey.
This new year has brought a lot of changes with thought provoking details.
I am considered a cancer patient even though the cancer was removed.
God will give me the strength, the endurance and the prayers to get through this and I will come out stronger.
May I learn to be a light to those around me and also be encouraging through this process.
Doctors are just doing what they are trained to do and I have no complaints about any of them.
In fact I sing high praises for the anesthesiologist who did my surgery, I woke up with no nausea.
That was my biggest fear and it was handled very well.
The pathology report was a good one and I am thankful that this journey is a prayer filled one.
I don’t know what I would do if I had no faith to rely on.
by Sharon O | Jan 18, 2020 | Uncategorized
While waiting for the pathology report I found myself in the middle of calm and anxiety.
Both were true. I was trusting in the process.
Trusting in the surgeon and praying for a direction to lean into.
About eight days after my surgery the nurse called and told me that I had great news.
The surgeon felt the cancer was fully removed during the biopsy process.
The margins around my surgery site were clean. The pathology report clean.
I had no further need for more surgery and no chemo.
I would be continuing the plan for radiation just to be sure the cells are gone.
I guess this is preventative and I will also see a oncologist for some medication advise.
This is all good news.
Did that mean I was cancer free?
What a circle of feelings to go from a positive reading to now a clean margin, in just a few weeks.
I am amazed, thankful and praise God for so much prayers and for this experience.
Yes, it’s been a new adventure. One that I could never have imagined.
Any time you do a medical process so much is layered into the experience.
Concerns, worries, fatigue and fear.
I will forever be a cancer survivor and I say that with a knowing; that I was given this so I can share with others.
My experience is not like others. Some who I know have had double mastectomies. Some have had reconstruction.
It is a very individual and unique experience for each patient.
I cannot say I am totally done with this process. Not for five years. That is the plan.
But in five years I will be seventy years old and the life that is given to me will be full of praise and thanksgiving.
Throughout my life I have survived many things, and this is one more for the book.
While waiting for the pathology report, I learned to lean in and trust deeper.
by Sharon O | Jan 12, 2020 | Uncategorized
Tuesday the 7th was my surgery day.
I woke up early, preparing my mind for what was going to take place.
It is always a bit surreal when you know you are going to the hospital and you will be having surgery.
Life as you know it, will change. It will be different. It will be a new chapter.
I was very calm. Not afraid.
In fact when the anesthesiologist asked me what I was fearing the most, I said, “The nausea.”
I get very sick with the drugs they give you to go to sleep.
The guy heard me and said, “Ok we will take care of this for you.”
We were running a bit late on the agenda; I had to go to mammography and get a guide wire placed using the mammography machine.
That was a bit uncomfortable but all in all it went smooth. Then I was wheeled into the surgery room.
I don’t remember much after that the anesthesia guy gave me a shot in my IV and I took a nice nap.
In the recovery room they had to wake me up; I guess it took a bit longer for me to come back from a deep sleep.
Then I was wheeled into my ‘day surgery’ room.
They gave me some cheese as I had not eaten for well over 14 hours and I was hungry and needing a snack.
After a few hours I was able to get my regular clothes on and head home.
It has been a slow recovery, the incision was 4-5 inches and glued shut.
I am actually doing very well.
I am SO relieved and SO thankful I had no nausea. NOT one moment.
They had put a patch behind my ear, and they were very proactive with medications.
I sense my fatigue but that is normal for a surgery patient and I am being very careful not to use my right side.
I see the doctor on the 20th and not long after that I will begin my radiation journey.
Every day for four to six weeks.
This is not the way I would have wanted to begin my new 2020 new year but God is in this and I am not scared.
This journey will be a new chapter for me and I will be open and willing to do what needs to be done.
