Sometimes there are no words.
When I think of the events in the last few weeks and the devastating deaths in many states.
It is hard to know what to say. How to process. What to do.
The latest where little children inside a school were shot down with no warning.
I see the sorrow on the news, and I can hardly deal with the incredible sorrow.
What is happening? I do think and agree with many who say the home has been the reason.
When the homes, and society as a whole, give minimal consequences.
This will continue.
It has continued over and over, and it is not the fault of the guns or the weapons of choice.
In my opinion it is a heart issue.
Years ago, there was a fear of authority, and the discipline was swift and firm.
I don’t have much to say about all this.
Words are not adequate to use when this type of thing happens.
We weep with those who weep. We pray with those who pray.
We hold our loved ones a little closer in our hearts just because.
I cannot imagine what took place on that day or any other day these things have taken place.
I cannot imagine the fear, the terror, the horrific scenes, it is too much.
The emergency vehicles and the workers, trauma scenes filling their days.
The police trying to figure it all out when there is chaos and tragic circumstances.
Someone made the choice to hurt and wound and kill just because opportunity let him.
I pray for the families who are broken and in deep grief.
I pray for the teachers who are left behind.
I pray for the city who is broken.
The Friday word prompt that was given this week was HEAL.
Is it possible to heal after something like this?
Weeping and wailing like Rachel in the Old Testament who wept for her children.
Someday the word HEAL will be back in the lives of those left behind.
But not now. Not any time in the future.
It is too hard. Too raw and too intense.
Sometimes there are no words and that is the reason why silence is important.
(I’m not sure where I found the heart, but it is appropriate for this writing,)
Sometimes there are no words.
As the months move by so quickly, we soon will see spring leaving and summer arriving.
I welcome the warmer days, NOT hot days just comfortable warm.
Normally, I love to wear sweatpants and soft sweater type tops.
I am a fall person. The cool air is refreshing to me.
This summer I hope to be able to wear tank tops and summer pants.
I live in Oregon, and it is not often weather of our choice.
Then this month we have graduating grandchildren.
Twin granddaughters and one grandson.
They are 18 now or almost, driving and becoming young adults.
It is exciting to see their future but also scary.
Two of them just had potentially major car wrecks where the cars were totaled.
God spared them.
It was a scary phone call to receive when one is listening to a very upset driver.
Both could have been very hurt. Both were saved.
In a moment, in a very quick moment everything can change.
Our oldest granddaughter has a birthday this month too.
She will be 23, then the three who are 18 and then we have one grandson who is 14 and one who is 11.
This grandma is standing back and watching them all grow so fast.
It’s quite amazing and I am so proud of all of them.
Being a grandparent is a special kind of honor.
I feel I am a cheerleader, an encourager, a prayer warrior and believer in who they are becoming.
The three who are 18 are thinking of college and that is a natural thing to do.
But hard on the parents.
It’s all a part of the process of growing up.
When I was 18, I got married.
Very young and very not sure how to do it.
My mom at the time decided I needed to move out at 18 so my ‘then’ boyfriend and I got married.
He was 19. (We have been married now 48 years)
I would never expect that any of my grandchildren to move out just because they were 18.
They need time to decide a direction in life.
It worked out for us.
As the months move by so quickly, we will soon see summer.
The last writing I did, was about the Easter story and how it all played out for Jesus.
The intensity of the days, the ‘friends’ of his who deserted him when he needed them the most.
Yes, even the Son of God needed those who he cared for to sit with him and pray with him.
It’s a common thing in our group of friends to say, “hey can you pray for this?”
Jesus wanted them to be with him, in the ‘depth’ of the moments.
I also think it was really interesting when he came out of the grave, spoke to Mary, who HE knew and loved.
Then he didn’t allow her to recognize him until it was the right time in her ‘heart’ to receive.
Also when he was walking down the road with a few guys who were talking about the ‘scenes’ and they didn’t know who he was.
UNTIL he felt the moment was right to reveal himself to them.
Later they said, “were not our hearts burning when he spoke to us?”
It is in the knowing and the recognizing… He didn’t force the truth of who he was.
But HE did reveal it over and over.
Jesus knew they all had to experience HIM being alive to believe.
He showed them, especially Thomas who said he would not believe unless he felt the wounds.
Jesus addressed that with him.
I imagine when it was all over, they had to return to their old ways one more time.
Peter was fishing, for HE was a fisherman. The others returned to their ‘jobs’ or homes.
It was upsetting and disturbing and they all didn’t really know what to do with all that had happened.
Jesus confronted when HE needed to, and gave compassion when that was needed too.
Mary was the best example of that.
He saw her and had compassion for she was in terrible grief.
Only Jesus could help her in that sorrow.
I think the most that we can walk away with in the story of the cross, is the fact that Jesus truly loved us.
So much that HE gave, chose, relinquished himself, even though HE could have stopped it all.
It is a story that is true, and it is a story of healing.
The last writing I did was about Easter and we understand now what took place in that season of time.
Sorrow can often be our reality of choices and the consequences to follow.
4-16 When it was time, he sat down, all the apostles with him, and said, “You’ve no idea how much I have looked forward to eating this Passover meal with you before I enter my time of suffering. It’s the last one I’ll eat until we all eat it together in the kingdom of God.”
17-18 Taking the cup, he blessed it, then said, “Take this and pass it among you.
As for me, I’ll not drink wine again until the kingdom of God arrives.”
19 Taking bread, he blessed it, broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, given for you. Eat it in my memory.”
20 He did the same with the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant written in my blood, blood poured out for you.
21-22 “Do you realize that the hand of the one who is betraying me is at this moment on this table?
It’s true that the Son of Man is going down a path already marked out—no surprises there.
But for the one who turns him in, turns traitor to the Son of Man, this is doomsday.”
23 They immediately became suspicious of each other and began quizzing one another, wondering who might be about to do this.
(Remember, Jesus KNEW it would be Judas) but he washed his feet too.
I can’t imagine the emotions of Jesus.
Knowing what was ahead of him. Understanding the separation of those who followed and loved him, yet soon to be denying any of it.
We will do many things to save ourselves. Including denying what we know in our hearts.
Peter thought HE would NEVER deny Jesus.
33 Peter said, “Master, I’m ready for anything with you. I’d go to jail for you. I’d die for you!”
34 Jesus said, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Peter, but before the rooster crows you will have three times denied that you know me.”
54-56 Arresting Jesus, they marched him off and took him into the house of the Chief Priest. Peter followed, but at a safe distance.
In the middle of the courtyard some people had started a fire and were sitting around it, trying to keep warm. One of the serving maids sitting at the fire noticed him, then took a second look and said, “This man was with him!”
57 He denied it, “Woman, I don’t even know him.”
58 A short time later, someone else noticed him and said, “You’re one of them.”
But Peter denied it: “Man, I am not.”
59 About an hour later, someone else spoke up, really adamant: “He’s got to have been with him! He’s got ‘Galilean’ written all over him.”
60-62 Peter said, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
At that very moment, the last word hardly off his lips, a rooster crowed. Just then, the Master turned and looked at Peter.
Peter remembered what the Master had said to him: “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”
He went out and cried and cried and cried.
Sorrow can often be our reality of choices and the consequences to follow.
This week has great meaning for many Christians who will go to church and celebrate Easter.
It is a serious week. This would be considered a quiet Wednesday, before it all begins.
Jesus understood and knew the magnitude of this time for him.
Just as when he was a little baby being born, laboring and struggling through the process of life.
This time he is laboring and struggling around his death.
He knew it was a difficult death in fact in the garden he even pleaded with God, Father, “is there any other way?”
I can’t imagine him walking the pathways of crosses with those who had been there before him.
I can’t imagine the heart wrenching reality of all that would take place.
Not only in the physical but the emotional too.
When he needed others to be with him, they moved to safety.
When he needed others to sit and pray, they fell asleep.
It was a struggle as he worked through these final moments for him.
He knew it had to take place for the ‘story’ to fulfill all that was written.
He knew… HE was there from the beginning and now HE will be there to the end.
Nothing was a surprise.
But oh, the agony, the abandonment, the weight of so much on his shoulders.
The week would go up and down with many emotions and through it all we know HE will win.
But the process had to take place.
Just as the journey to Bethlehem for Mary and Joseph, before birth, was long and scary and difficult.
The journey of the cross is not much different.
I would not personally want to be there.
When I was younger there used to be a song that asked, “were you there when they crucified my Lord?”
No, I would not want to be. I want warm fuzzy moments not crucifixion pain and agony scenes.
Every player had a part to finish this part of the story.
Just as in the birth of Jesus, the death of Jesus had players who did their jobs even if they didn’t know it fully.
This week has great meaning for many Christians.