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The year was 1999.
Our twenty fifth wedding anniversary was in the fall the year before and we were struggling in our relationship with each other.
Isn’t it said that every couple goes through a deep intense season at least once in the lifetime of their marriage?
We were like two ships in an ocean passing by each other and never acknowledging the journey we both were travelling.
Something happened between us and we were distant with each other harboring deep hurt and pain.
Words were few and when spoken they were more like the small talk of two strangers who really didn’t know each other.
For months we had no connection emotionally along with no words of ‘real meaning’ shared.
At this point we were both working full time.
It was convenient to keep the distance between us ‘not a topic to talk about’ by evening we were both tired and in our own ‘thoughts’.
I was still going to therapy, and trying to figure out how I would move out on my own.
Yes … I said … move out.
The reality was for me my finances couldn’t pay the rent or food or gas or food for my dog which would go with me of course and my two cats.
The type of dog I had required a yard and I couldn’t find that either.
Therapy had to be a part of the plan and that was not financially in the picture either if I moved.
It seemed the roadblocks were big and the reality set in that I had no choice but to stay where I was.
God was preparing me in many ways and on many levels.
My therapist worked with my ‘heart’ and challenged me on many levels too.
Our daughter had told us in the fall she was expecting a new little baby.
That was something to look forward to and about the only thing that was worth holding onto at the time.
The month of May began and our daughter was looking very cute and round with our first grand child due in July.
I knew it would be life changing for us all but I had no idea what that really would mean.