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We were young and we didn’t really know

We were young and didn’t really know what we were doing 46 years ago.
The day our son was born.
I remember the hospital experience like it was yesterday.
The doctor chose to induce on our due date, because I was very small and the baby could have been bigger.
So we arrived at the hospital, I was set up with Iv’s and all the things they do to get labor started.
Morning came and nothing happened, lunch arrived and still not much happening, then the afternoon nurse arrived.
I call her the nurse with little compassion or caring.
She looked at me and said, “well you are not doing much let’s get this going so you can have this baby by dinner.”
This was around 3:30 when her shift started.
She turned the pit drip up that was in my Iv and labor began.
Hard and fast. Swift and scary. Monitor’s and needles surrounded me, and my doctor insisted on a block.
I really didn’t need it but when you are 20 and you have no clue what to expect, you let your doctor choose.
God was with us during this process.
Hard labor was in the room with us and I was more and more uncomfortable.
In order for the block to be given, the doctor had me roll into a ball on the bed on my side and the nurse assisted him.
I can honestly say it did not work. They waited too late.
I was pushing my first born baby out and they were trying to numb me.
The labor room was fast and furious.
My husband had to change in the broom closet because they were not ready for me to be so quick.
At 5:35 pm Our son was born. In time for dinner.
My legs were completely numb and I felt most of the dramatic birth other than the intense pain.
It was a very surreal moment because I was numb, and I was in shock because it happened so fast.
When they asked me if I wanted to eat I was just not up to it at the time.
We were young and we didn’t really know what we were doing, the day our 6 pound baby boy was born.Christopher… You have always been our joy, our pride and our son who grew up to be a dad to three of your own boy’s.

As we head into a new month

As we head into a new month I am reminded of this year so far.
It has been very interesting and very challenging at times.
March brings daylight savings time, so the days will be longer and the night won’t come so early.
It also brings many birthdays in our family.
I finished a quilt for a grandson and that should be done and delivered for his 13th birthday.
Every grand child gets a quilt from grandma on their 13th birthday.
I figure it’s a milestone and beginning of teen years.
There is one more grand child to sew for and he is only 10.
I see my oncologist hopefully for a good and encouraging appointment.
The journey of breast cancer has been life altering and I have to adjust to the new ‘team of doctors’.
Hoping the weather will be good and not so many rainy days or heavy winds.
Our tree in the backyard had to come down.
Such a sad and different look for the backyard. but it had to be removed. It was unsafe.
Spring cleaning will be on the calendar, it’s time for deep cleaning.
My cat keeps getting sick on the carpet and I just do my best to keep it cleaned up.
We are going to go down to the beach and spend time in our trailer and relaxing.
That will be a nice change and a small getaway.
I had to get a new cell phone and then in that process I got locked out of it, so I wait to use it fully.
I am feeling like my patience is being tested.
I will not complain I will just wait it out and hope for a good result.
By next Sunday I should be able to set a new password on my phone and use it the way it should be used.
As we head into a new month, I am looking forward to some easier days a head.

The month of February started out normal

The month of February started out pretty normal and then we had an ice storm.
Not your normal kind of ice storm, this was after a few days of snow that was too wet to enjoy.
Then we got a deep freeze.
It was very thick and very cold for our area.
It snowed but with the snow there was ice, so I still couldn’t walk in the snow.
Our backyard had a beautiful shade tree that we enjoyed in the summer.
Notice I said, “had”… yeah it broke in three places and it is in the process of being removed.
I am sad about that but determined to find a nice small leave maple to put in it’s place.
The power was out from Friday night to Wednesday.
The house temp plunged to low 40’s and my husband finally got our trailer in our driveway.
We had batteries running the furnace which was a blessing, the house had hot water because it’s gas.
At first I didn’t know we could shower or wash dishes, couldn’t use the dishwasher but they could be rinsed.
Found out with a gas water heater, you can still use the water and it’s hot.
That was a blessing.
We dressed in layers, with wool socks and heavy coats.
I worried about our neighbors who are seniors and maybe not so able to get warm.
We cooked in our trailer or we bought take out meals.
We were not able to go to our grand daughter’s 17th birthday party.
It was too icy to travel so we tried to see them a few days later.
There are still many homes around that have no power.
The linemen are amazing and it is a job that is full of danger and fatigue.
I cannot imagine the pressure those guys had on them to ‘fix it’.
We see the damage all around us, almost every block has trees that have broken.
It will take weeks to get it all cleaned up.
We even have a huge pile of tree branches to take somewhere.
We had to take everything out of our refrigerator and throw it away, and most of our frozen items we took to family.
I think now that we have heat, we have power, we have somewhat of a normal life now.
I will forever remember and be grateful for this season of testing.
The month of February started out normal until it changed dramatically.

A birthday to remember as the years move

A birthday to remember as the years move past us.
My sister Mary has a birthday on February 11.
We have a long history of good and bad that was shared between us.
She was the middle sister.
Her life was hard, and confusing and she struggled a lot.
She also survived way more than anyone should have in her life time.
She was at times funny, and at other times harsh, although I personally never experienced that side of her.
She had what is called an addictive personality and in high school (which she never finished) she was into drugs.
Later she moved into the alcohol to numb the pains of her past.
She did not know how to cope with life in a normal way.
I was her voice when it came to important decisions as she aged and needed more care.
It was always hard, and challenging for her.
She had a husband who loved her to the very end; until he passed away before her in 2006.
At that time in her life she was very much into the bottle and very toxic to herself.
She was on hospice when she moved into our home, even before her husband passed away.
Our family detoxed her from a fifth of vodka to six ounces in six weeks or less.
It was a determined effort and it was extremely hard.
We had an amazing doctor who worked with us and we had to get her well enough to move.
There was no way she would ever survive on her own, she was too ill, and near deaths door.
In time she healed, in time she stopped the alcohol, in time she moved from a foster home, to an assisted living home.
They were able to take care of her and keep her safe.
Eventually years later, she moved from there to a family members home.
My sister passed away June 8th, 2019.
I will always remember our times together.
The hard, the sweet, the tender and the challenging.
Before she left the assisted living home, my husband and I would go to visit her.
At first we would take her out for a meal and then that became such an ordeal for all of us,
we decided to just take her a box of doughnuts.
She loved her sweets and she enjoyed the treat.
So now every year on her birthday, I get a doughnut in memory of her.
She was and always will be a part of my life. A sister to me.
A birthday to remember as the years move past us.

The excellence of love is a gift

The Excellence of Love is a gift
13 If I speak with the tongues of mankind and of angels, but do not have love,
I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
3 And if I give away all my possessions to charity, and if I surrender my body so that I may glory,
but do not have love, it does me no good.
4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.
5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit;
it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,
6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away with;
if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away with.
9 For we know in part and prophesy in part;
10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away with.
11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child;
when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully,
just as I also have been fully known.
13 But now faith, hope, and love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1st Corinthians 13: (found in the New Testament)

February is the month for love, with Valentines promoted as the Hallmark thing to do.
I see it very different.
When reading the above words, there are powerful words that represent what really matters.
Being patient and kind, not being jealous, not having an arrogant attitude.
It doesn’t keep account of wrong done to us.
Boy wouldn’t that be easy to keep a little book with whatever anyone did wrong?
I don’t think that would bless anyone in fact, it would be quite hurtful with a wrong motive.
Childish behavior leaves when we grow up.
We learn to believe in others, hope in others and endure what is necessary to make it work.
In this month of ‘love’ may we be challenged and motivated, to think a bit different than our normal.
The excellence of love is a gift we give ourselves; and we give to those who mean the most to us.

February is the month of love

February is the month of love.
It is also Valentines day and remembering those who you love and care for.
I tell my husband to not give me something just because Hallmark tells him to.
Give me something when I don’t expect it.
When I am having a hard time, an emotional time, a frustrating time.
Not when I think he should bring me something, the element of surprise is always nice.
Although the flip side of that, is I don’t like to be surprised.
I want to know what is going on and when.
Mostly if we are going somewhere.
So he has on occasion surprised me with special things.
I think it is very meaningful when they do that.
Even after forty seven years of being together, it is nice to be thought about.
This last season and year was a bit rough with the recent health scare.
When you have a history of cancer, it is always a ‘cloud’ that hovers.
Oh I do my best to be positive, but it is good to be honest and to be true to oneself; especially when one is recovering from any kind of surgery.
It’s important to give oneself a lot of grace in the recovery room.
I am often reminded of how God loves us, no matter what we look like.
I have noticed my radiation history has aged me. I am not the same as when I began.
It is ok, just a bit unsettling at times.
I think it’s important to remember, God cares for us.
He loves us.
It is spoken over and over in the word.
We should never doubt it.
I challenge you today to sit back and appreciate His deep and abiding love for you.
Let the words soak in and minister to you. He loves you.
He LOVES you.
In the bible the word love is found 686 times.
As far as the fruit of the spirit given to us when we believe, the first word is love.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22,23
February is the month of love. Let us grasp onto the overwhelming love HE has given us.

Today is my best friends birthday

Today is my best friends birthday. We have been friends for close to 40 years.
We have grown and changed and encouraged and prayed for each other, as we walked and shared.
Throughout the years, she has been the one person I can share openly with and have no worries about her reaction.
She counsels me with wisdom and thoughts. She is bright and educated and has a heart of compassion.
I used to live three blocks from her, we spent many hours walking and going through unfinished homes being built.
I remember me asking, “Is this ok? can we really go inside?” She had a heart for new building and yes; we did go in.
It was always an adventure.
She challenged me and also reminded me of God’s gifts given.
The first time we met it was at a bible study and she had been praying for someone to sit with her.
I walked in and said, “can I sit here?” It was a friendship that began and still is taking place.
Our boys played together and we would watch them in her big yard, it was so funny because my rule was no guns.
You didn’t pretend to shoot someone, didn’t even let my son have a squirt gun. I was against it.
Her boys didn’t know what to think of that, as they played cops and robbers all the time.
My son would take the pretend gun and point it at the ceiling, leaving her sons to wonder why.
It was actually quite comical and to hear her tell the story is even more funny.
As they grew up my son became a police officer. How funny is that, he ended up with at least three guns on him.
That’s ok I wanted him safe. In fact I wanted even more protection on him.
As we have grown and changed, she has had new health issues and I have too.
We pray and encourage each other and I am thankful for any conversation or any visit I can have with her.
We all know time is not always on our side, and every minute we are able to say, ‘Hi, happy birthday’
is a gift we both give ourselves.
I miss her. She moved away and it’s a three hour drive just to walk into her door.
We always begin where we left off. It’s like there has been no time difference.
I wish I could walk down the road and see her.
But the reality is, she is happy, in love, and is healthy and in peace.
What more would I want?
Today is my best friends birthday, and today get to say to her, “Happy birthday.”

Almost the end of the month

Almost the end of the month, January of 2021.
I cannot believe the changes in our life since last year.
The quarantine has affected many people, some who we have not seen for months.
This is the longest time since our marriage began, that we have not been in a regular church service.
We have watch online and it is nice and we receive great teaching and music.
But OH I remember the sweetness of listening to the music in real time.
When my husband had to be at the church early for parking, I would go in and listen to the musicians practice.
It was like my own little church service.
Our church is building a new building and will soon be done sometime in May of 2021.
It has been a long time of waiting.
I have realized some of our ‘friends’ have moved away or gone to other places.
It’s hard when you have little children and you want them in a church setting.
Our children were in church since they time they were newborns in the church nursery.
It was important for us to have them involved in a positive group of kids and leaders.
We were blessed as the youth groups were great and the experience was good.
Each one had a core group of good kids they hung out with.
Some of them they still see in person or by social media.
When we were in youth group they had no social media, we had to see people in person.
I remember so many hours on the phone chatting with my friends.
Times have changed but not the need to connect with others.
It is a good goal for us to do the best we can to reach out to others.
Almost the end of the month and we begin a new ‘season of birthdays.’

Today is my husbands birthday

Today is my husbands birthday.
He decided he wanted his mom’s pigs in a blanket recipe, along with creamed potatoes and peas.
He even picked out the pie and he wants to create the dinner.
Hey that’s ok it only leaves me the dishes to do.
He invited his sister and her husband and his brother and wife over.
So it will be the six of us eating a very old remembered dinner.
I only had one request, that he picks out hot dogs that are somewhat healthy.
Is that possible?
We went for a walk in the crispy cold air, trying to get more healthy and more disciplined.
Now he is napping. That is a good thing to do on a birthday afternoon.
If I sleep in the day time my bed time gets messed up.
He naps almost every day but he gets up before I do.
Speaking about sleeping, Oh my goodness we purchased a new mattress.
It is called the Nector and it’s basically layered memory foam.
SO comfortable and so interesting.
It came in a box, all rolled up. When you walk it into the room you lay it on the box springs,
take the plastic off of it and let it ‘grow’. It takes a few hours and pretty soon it’s thick.
I was amazed and it also came with two memory foam pillows and a set of sheets.
What a wonderful gift to us.
I had wondered what to do with our old mattress, by nature I am not one to dump things if they are usable.
So we put it on facebook marketplace and had a lot of interest in it, and a really sweet little couple picked it up.
I love to bless others.
She got out of the car and said, “God bless you.”
How lovely, and even though it was old, it was in very good shape.
Today is my husbands birthday, we will have a quiet day, a fun night and a new year will begin for him.

When you go through deep waters

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
Isaiah 43:2
This is so good to read and apply, for right now in our crazy world we have many deep waters to tread.
I feel sometimes like it’s a twilight zone since we started last year.
This new year has not been too much better.
I am in prayer for the political state of our United States.
I am in prayer for President Trump.
So much to come to the Lord about. We are not lacking information or topics.
I love the promise that whatever we go through God will not leave us alone.
I have felt like this in my journey through cancer, and recovery.
It was hard but not difficult.
It was not overwhelming but not easy.
I trusted in the process and in that trust I found comfort which is my word of the year.
My latest radiology review is not what I wanted to hear.
I thought the meeting with my surgeon would be my last one.
After looking at my radiology reviews she wants to see me in six months and then we will decide,
after more radiology pictures, if we need to do another biopsy.
I thought to myself, here we go again.
Some of my friends have gone into the process more than once so I am not unusual or fearful.
I trust my team and I trust the process and most of all I trust my God who will not give me more than I can handle.
Sometimes when we feel like we are drowning in emotions or in fear or in overwhelming feelings.
God is there with us.
We are not alone and when it feels like we are, that is when we call a friend or open the word or find some peaceful music.
The promise is real. It also says, WHEN not if.
So we will find ourselves in these moments, and it is how we handle them that will show our true strength.
When you go through deep waters, I WILL BE WITH YOU.