The other day I received a notice from Google telling me I had new ‘readers’ on the new reader list.
It surprised me because I thought their list was shut down and closed.
I had never received a notice from them before so in my curiosity
I clicked onto the site and it showed my blog.
Then I clicked onto the reader list and there were many who I do not know, never met and do not have any idea who they are.
Both men and women were on the list and it felt strange and almost incredibly vulnerable for me.
By nature privacy is very important.
Rarely do I share deep things although in the last few years God has pursued me to open up.
Blogging is such a different process for each of us.
It is similar to a personal journal but if one opens it up to the public then it is open.
Exposed.
Perhaps even having your own personal journey unprotected.
I struggled for months over the fact of opening this to ‘anyone’ or keeping it private for only a few to see.
In that struggling process my husband said this to me,
“if you were to write a book, would you always know who purchased and read it or would it just be a mystery who had access to your words?”
Very good question and definitely something to think about.
When one writes a book there is no control over who buys it.
For days I struggled with the openness of writing.
Writing has always been a place of healing for me.
Sometimes I would draw in addition to the words formed.
Feeling that God was leading me to the place of writing and sharing I also questioned the safety.
Exposure means: lack of shelter or protection.
Disclosing something private or secret in a presentation of an open public manner.
Public appearance… presents itself as exposure.
It is taking my private thoughts or words and placing them for all to see.
My prayer has always been for this to minister to others and be a form of encouragement.
I do think if I keep writing that will happen at some point in time.
But oh it feels so open and raw and vulnerable and very similar to the first visit to a doctor’s office when you have never met them.
We would like to tell them ‘what they want to hear’ knowing full well in time they will see and understand the real truth of why we came in for a visit.
In the next few blog posts I am going to continue this topic.
It has stirred me and given me a ‘definite’ something to think about.