The third word I am sharing about is trust

by Sharon O | Jul 26, 2020 | Uncategorized

Posted: 11 Mar 2014 01:03 PM PDT

The first word I shared from the basket of words was courage.
The second word I shared about was willingness.
Now the third word I am sharing about is trust.

Dictionary.com says: Trust is

[Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety of a person or thing;  with confidence.

Confident expectation of something; hope.

A person on whom or thing on which one relies; God is my trust.

To believe. Certainty. Faith. Trust. Assurance.]

These are all powerful and wonderful definitions of the word trust.

But in the real world of recovery and getting better…trust is one of the most difficult things to grasp.

The concept that one can be trusted or believed in or be assured of; is the most challenging part

of the journey ahead of anyone entering this phase of recovery.

To know in my thought process that someone wants to help me with good motives or intention;

was a huge issue in the beginning.

When someone comes from a difficult background. there is often mistrust in most situations.

It can take years to finally realize one person really cares enough to help.

When I entered in to the room of recovery; I had to know in my heart and believe in my spirit

that this person was safe and would not hurt or harm me.

The first step was realizing it was a process and it would take time.

For me…a very long time.

Even though the counselor I saw was chosen by his experience and reputation in the field of recovery.

He also was the one who told me trust would be a major part of our work together.

Every time I entered into that room: I had to choose to trust as I sat in my favorite chair by the door.

If the process got too uncomfortable: I knew I could leave although for many reasons I never did.

I had to learn to trust in the process of allowing another to walk alongside me through the painful layers and feelings.

Recovery is not pain free.

Just like any birthing process of bringing something new into the scene of our lives.

There is a deeply intensive road to walk before any kind of healing can take place,

and it must be walked slowly and not forced.

I had to trust in the process of sharing my heart hurt and then lean in to the confidence

that this person really does have my best interest in mind and they will stay with me till healing takes place.

Question for you:

Is it hard to trust? to trust God?

to trust in yourself?

to trust others who might want to help you?

to trust the path you must go on in order to become healthy?

Reliance on the integrity of the process is the hardest part of trusting

no matter what kind of journey we have before us.

The third word I am sharing about is trust.

The first word I shared about was courage

by Sharon O | Jul 23, 2020 | Uncategorized

Posted: 04 Mar 2014 08:24 PM PST

The first word I shared about was courage.
The next one on the list is: willingness.
Dictionary.com said the definition is:
Willingness: Cheerfully consenting or ready. Inclined, minded, freely or voluntary.

What I have learned in the process of therapy and recovery.
In the beginning we do not enter into it… cheerfully.
Usually we go because we have the realization in our heart; that life is not peaceful inside our ‘spirits’

.
We are giving permission to another person to ask questions and probe into our ‘darkest places’
in order for us to find healing and health.
I’ve never found therapy to be a sign of weakness, I found the opposite to be true.
As I opened up my heart, healing began to happen and my voice became stronger.

And strength and courage and willingness are all a part of therapy and recovery.
When we understand that this is very needed right now, we will not be the same when we are through with this process.

The first word I shared about was courage. The second is willingness.  

As we move into the rest of the words, may we learn and grow through this process.

Courage is not the absence of fear

by Sharon O | Jul 21, 2020 | Uncategorized

Becoming REAL with oneself

The first word:

Courage is not the absence of fear but it’s taking action in the midst of it.
Dictionary.com says: Courage is:
The quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, without fear. bravery.
to take ones courage in both hands to nerve oneself to perform an action.
Courage is an action word.
When I first began my journey into recovery, I didn’t know what to expect and was not sure who to see or how to navigate through the unknowns.
There came a point in time when the realization came to me; if I didn’t do something… nothing would take place.
Nothing would change the way I was feeling.
So I began to ask questions.
I searched on line and interviewed well known counselors.
To admit to yourself or anyone else that one needs counseling takes courage.
A lot of it.
Emotionally I knew and was convinced; something had to be done for change to take place.
The journey of healing with a lady counselor began the day she asked me, “why are you in here today?”
That is when you find courage and truth and dig deep within yourself before you answer.
As time moves on you become more brave in finding your voice and
you become stronger each time you go in to talk.
“You gain strength, courage and confidence
by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror.
I can take the next thing that comes along.’
Eleanor Roosevelt
Courage is not an easy word but when we finally become real with ourselves we find healing.
Courage doesn’t always roar.
Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
“I will try again tomorrow.” 
And each time I tried and took action to heal; the tomorrows became easier and the pain lessened.
Becoming real with ourselves is a huge part of having courage.
Courage is not the absence of fear but it’s moving in a direction towards it.   

A basket of words to think about

by Sharon O | Jul 19, 2020 | Uncategorized

I’m revisiting a few of my old writings as many of the new readers have not read them.

Posted originally : 21 Feb 2014 09:51 PM PST
Restoring and renewing our thoughts about life, love and beauty.

Years ago when I entered into a season of therapy.
I was given at some point in time a basket of words.
They are heart shaped and etched into the pottery stone.
The basket is broken.
I don’t remember if it always was that way; but for me now,
it represents the fragile and broken spirit I had when entering into the season of healing.
In the recovery group we were instructed to pick a word and then write about it in our journal books.
Giving voice to our ‘thoughts’ on paper so the feelings would not stay hidden deep inside ourselves.
For many survivors feelings stay hidden and silenced and the only way out of that season of silence is to move through it.
The only way out is through.
We were told that over and over.
The only way out is through.
You must move from the dark places inside to a lighter ‘healing place’ restoring your spirit and your broken wounded self inside.
A broken leg cannot heal if one keeps walking on it, there must be a time for restoration and calm.
Then after a short time of ‘healing’ physical therapy begins so the bone can learn to to accept the pressure.
Emotional healing is very much the same concept.
Restoring the broken wounded child and moving her into a strong voice of an adult.
A few nights ago in the quiet of our room I woke up with the idea of writing the words as a blog post.
Each week one word would be written and focused on.
Exploring the meaning and the thoughts surrounding that word.

A basket of words representing new life.
Peace ~ delight ~ abundance ~ healing ~ beauty ~ rest ~ humor ~ balance ~ change ~ tenderness ~ play ~ willingness ~ courage ~ compassion ~ forgiveness ~ light ~ trust ~ power ~

A basket of words representing growth and health and empowerment.
When we are broken we don’t see the potential for healing.
We only feel the brokenness deep inside ourselves.
(or …we feel nothing at all)
We are not sure what to do with that internal mess; so many times those who enter into this journey go in with great resistance and fear because we don’t know or understand what it will look or feel like to put a voice to words.
Our feelings get misunderstood and jumbled and we remain closed off from them because they feel foreign and new to us.
Those who have lived in difficult places or scenes cannot begin to believe when entering a season of healing that it won’t always feel ‘this way’.
A basket of words is a good tool to start when working with someone who is closed off and resistant.
Our group leaders were brilliant and caring and compassionate and wise.
They were sensitive and gentle never pushing but always encouraging us to become stronger.
A basket of words is a good beginning, when the door to one’s heart and voice is closed.

Words that can bring life, hope, healing, and new awareness.
Words that challenge and re-direct our thoughts and minds.
Words that change the core of who we are and mature us into stronger people.
Words that change us deep within.
Restoring and Renewing our thoughts about life, love and beauty.

Another blast from the past funny post

by Sharon O | Jul 13, 2020 | Uncategorized

One more blast from the past

Posted: 07 Feb 2015 08:31 PM PST

When my oldest grand daughter was in pre-school I would take her to school and pick her up every day.
She was with me all the time as her mom worked.
One day we were running a bit late, and we got in to the car, she was buckled in to the car seat and I drove down the road.
After coming to a stop, I turned left and began driving while I noticed blinking lights behind me.

Wondering what that was about I pulled over and the officers car pulled over behind me.
Now I couldn’t believe anything could have gone wrong having been in the car less than five minutes.
I rolled down my window and the officer said to me, “do you know why I pulled you over?”
I honestly could not so I told him I had no idea.
He said that I pulled out in front of him.
Anyone who knows me and knows how I drive, also knows I would not ever ‘pull’ out in front of a police car.
At this point while he was talking to me my grand daughter in the back seat lost her patience.

She said, “I am going to be late for school. We need to get going.”
I calmly told her to let the nice gentlemen talk to us.
She again reminded me it was a school day and she was going to be late and she didn’t like to be late for school.
I tried my best to get her to be more quiet, while not looking to obvious with a police man standing by my window.
He then said to her, “let me talk to your mommy and then you can leave for school,”
I thanked him and let him know I was grandma.
He then looked at my license and told me to be more careful before he walked away.
A verbal warning was wonderful and I was free to continue driving.
It was a crazy morning and even more crazy to be stopped.
Then I as we walked her into the pre-school room she excitedly told everyone about grandma and the police and how they stopped us and the lights were flashing and it was so exciting.
Another funny moment in the small town in Oregon.

Binoculars and a wild imagination

by Sharon O | Jul 12, 2020 | Uncategorized

The next event that happened with the local police department was just a few weeks after the night incident.

My best friend who had recently gotten married after being widowed for almost seven years,
asked me to pick up her mail out of her mail box while they were on a short vacation.
I said, “sure I can do that I have done it before, no problem.”

She just lives about a quarter mile from me and it was easy to drive by quickly and pick her mail up.
When they got home I would give it all to them.
Easy thing to do for a friend, I thought it was no issue.

Only this time the neighbor… looked through her window and saw me at the mail box taking the mail out then driving away.
She immediately wrote down my license plate and yes you guessed it, she called the police department;
and told them I was stealing mail out of her neighbors mail box.
So one more time, around dinner time, we get a knock on the front door and two officers were there;
asking my husband if the white car in our driveway was mine. 
My husband said, “yes why are you asking?”
Well they said they received a report of mail theft and had to come over and check it out. 
My husband explained that she was my best friend and I was only helping her out.

I could not believe the nosy neighbor actually called the police, and they were at my door again, in less than a few weeks.
I am sure they were really beginning to wonder who Officer O’s mom really was.
Another funny moment in the life and small town in Oregon.