I sit in the quiet
and I stare at this blank writing page…
this space that normally would voice my thoughts and prayers.
I am numb… and I am feeling…
all at the same time.
I am empty… yet very full…
My stomach in knots throughout the day as
feelings that are foreign to me…
rise to the surface like a dormant volcano
ready to blow its hot and fiery fury.
Sadness has walked with me and also fatigue
my spirit beaten down.
Like David in the psalms…
I wait for the Lord to remove the heaviness that shrouds my heart.
Grief has placed a cover over me like a blanket on a cold day.
There is hope
around the corner but I can’t see it today or feel it…
There is healing too…
but today all I see or feel or react to
is the desire to retreat and rest and reflect on
what I know to be true.
That God will not give me anything I cannot deal with
and if I feel I cannot… HE will give me the strength I need if I ask.
