Being brave while challenging myself is not the easiest thing I can do when writing in this space.
Dictionary.com says: brave means to meet or face courageously: a warrior. exhibiting courage.
To share from one’s heart and share where you have been hurt takes a lot of courage.
This blog began in 2009 with private writings and settings. It was never meant to be open.
It was only for a chosen few; kind of like a personal diary and definitely not shared with everyone.
One day my husband said to me, “if you wrote a book would you know who purchased it?”, of course I would not; so the challenge came for me from him, to open it up to the general public and be brave.
As a private person by nature it was very hard to have others read my writings.
It felt vulnerable. It felt weird and exposed to me. The question came, “what if they don’t like it or I’m not believed?”
These are hard questions to solve when everything inside me said, “It’s not really for sharing.”
As I moved out of the recovery process of ‘childhood trauma’, I began to feel more open to sharing some of what I had experienced and what formed me in those earlier years.
It is never easy to share one’s vulnerable self to others especially, when you don’t know how well it would be received.
As a survivor of ‘a broken home’, one learns to read body language and tone of voice.
If I let myself fret over who is going to read the writings then I hurt my chance to write ‘openly’.
As time moved forward I have chosen to tell my story in bits and pieces, carefully choosing the words.
It is important to know the reason why I want to tell, it’s not just for the purpose of sharing.
Sometimes truth can be left alone and buried.
Sometimes it is never helpful to share things from the past.
My thought is this: If my story can help ONE person move forward towards their own healing place.
Then it is worth it, to take the risk.
We can only help those who we have an identity with; when I meet survivors of some kind of trauma I immediately know… ‘yes, I understand’ because I really do.
Listening is a gift, empathy is also.
To be able to walk alongside someone who is broken and to be able to say to them, “I see wholeness in you”
it’s kind of like being a verbal cheerleader.
In the next few writings I will open up a little bit of life as I knew it.
I hope you will follow along and walk this journey with me.