by Sharon O | Sep 7, 2020 | Uncategorized
Life is hard sometimes and it seems lately it’s become harder.
Having Covid show up didn’t make it easy or nice for sure.
Isolation and staying in can be good for a season, but we have been doing this for many months now.
Many people are tired of wearing masks and following the rules that change daily.
We have purchased our share of hand sanitizers and masks.
I have not yet ventured into the hair salon and going to the doctor’s office scares me because of the germ factor.
Since I am still recovering as a cancer patient and even though I finished radiation in March, they still consider me immune compromised.
As a introvert by nature staying home is not hard for me; although I really miss seeing my family and friends.
Have not seen my best friend in almost a year and I really miss her.
She is immune compromised too with leukemia issues and has to be very careful with germs.
The doctors don’t know what to say to her other than to keep doing whatever she is doing. Her system is holding steady and they don’t know why. We do, there are a lot of prayers for her and she’s staying strong.
Then another ‘friend’ who worked with me for over eight years was just diagnosed with lung cancer in March and is already on hospice.
We hear these stories and we wonder why.
He IS a God of miracles, but sometimes this stuff is so hard and sometimes it is not fair.
Life hands us these things and what are we to do? How do we pray?
For healing or comfort or wisdom for the doctors?
It has been a very difficult year for sure.
I know others who are struggling with life and death issues and it is hard to understand and hard to figure out.
We just have to walk this journey and do our best and pray.
Life is hard sometimes and it seems lately it has become harder.
by Sharon O | Aug 27, 2020 | Uncategorized
A review of the basket of words, brings me to remember the reason why I wrote them at this time.
I was given the basket and it sat in my den for many years.
One day I started thinking about how it could be shared and how it could be a blessing for others.
The goal in writing this series was to not only be a blessing; but give the reader something to think about.
I chose the words carefully and prayed about how to share them.
The series was done in 2014 but not many have ever read it, and this time I revised some of the writings.
I began with the word courage, then willingness, then trust, then tenderness, then power, then balance, then change, then compassion, then rest, then healing, then play, then beauty and delight, then peace and light and finally, power and forgiveness.
I didn’t realize the word power was used two times, but when speaking about surviving abuse and trauma, there is a lot of power to overcome.
It was perfectly ok to use it two times.
As I have healed from my own journey, God has shown me that the experiences and the story can be shared.
It doesn’t have a hold on me anymore.
The story is important. The journey defines me.
The coming out of hard and dark places can bring hope to others.
To know that someone else has walked this path of brokenness; can give life to others just beginning their recovery
.
I have sat with those who were hurt. I have listened to the tears.
I have heard stories that were hard to hear; but it’s a survivors truth of what happened and how it affected them.
I pray this sharing has been meaningful, for it is a gift to be there with others as they share matters of the heart.
A review of the basket of words make me realize how very important they are to me and my healing.
by Sharon O | Aug 23, 2020 | Uncategorized
The final two words in the basket of words.
I have chosen these to be power and forgiveness.
When trauma takes place in any situation there is a ‘power’ that rises from the offender to the victim.
It is dark and controlling and very damaging.
When I think of that kind of power it’s feels heavy and hopeless.
When survivors begin to heal they begin to take back the power.
Boundaries begin to replace obligation.
The silent one becomes vocal and the rules change.
The word power is mentioned in the bible 256 times.
When I think of biblical power I’m remembering creation.
God through HIS power created all.
Then I remember when Jesus told the winds and the water to calm down.
That’s power.
Power can be negative or positive depending on the circumstance.
When a survivor begins to heal, they begin to realize that holding onto the pain and hurt only hurts them, it does not affect the offender.
What is taught in recovery, is “the only way out is through.”
When a survivor begins to heal they realize they ‘have’ the power within themselves to say, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” Genesis 50:20
A healed survivor can help heal others.
They begin to realize the pain is not permanent. Yes it leaves scars.
But scars tell our story.
Only when the trauma survivor begins to realize; giving up the right to hurt those who hurt you, is the most powerful thing you can do.
Forgiveness then becomes the next step.
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, When it is in your power to do it. proverbs 3:27
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline (or a sound mind). 2 Timothy 1:7
Forgiveness is not saying it was all ok and it didn’t hurt me.
What was said, was hurtful. What took place should never have happened.
It is a very important part of healing and the forgiveness does not have to be in person; it can be as simple as a prayer.
When a survivor can say, it was ugly. It was horrible.
But I choose to forgive because God has forgiven me. I cannot carry this anger any longer, I need to let it go.
It is not saying you understand their choice to offend.
*It is just freeing your heart to move on.* It is a gift to yourself.
In my process I had to forgive those who hurt me; so it didn’t have power over me anymore.
Dictionary.com says it is to cease to feel resentment.
Forgiveness is not for the offender, it is for the one who wants to heal and move on to a better way of living.
I pray this series has given hope and healing and maybe new insight.
The final two words in the basket of words are power and forgiveness.
by Sharon O | Aug 20, 2020 | Uncategorized
The basket of words continue and the next two we are learning about are light and peace.
As the survivor from trauma begins to heal; the light begins to show them many areas that were once not clear.
Light illuminates, Light exposes.
When you turn a light on in a room that is dark, the contents are no longer a mystery, it is seen as it is.
Healing does that, it brings to light and shows the survivor all that was hidden and dark.
The bible talks about the word light 309 times.
Psalm 119:105
YOUR word is a lamp unto my feet and light to my path.
Psalm 112:4
Light arises in the darkness; He is gracious and compassionate and righteous.
Psalm 119:130
The unfolding of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple. (the understanding is so important when healing is happening)
As the survivor begins to heal they begin to see the reality of the trauma as it was meant to destroy. All trauma is damaging.
Only when healing begins does the light and the calm begin to show up.
The next word is peace.
Such a powerful word because when someone is in a trauma situation there is nothing that looks like peace.
The bible talks about the word 353 times.
Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
As healing begins it is hard to understand how the story shifts and there is no longer a need to tell all.
I have seen survivors heal on such a deep level, when the light removes the darkness from them and the peace enters where anger once lived.
I have experience with this and it is powerful to see and watch.
The survivor can face each day with hope, and healing and that is such an amazing transformation for them.
I have heard a saying that says something about those who heal after intense hurt. They become the healers.
They become the ones walking alongside saying, “I know it’s hard YOU can make it.” They become the encouragers.
The basket of words continue as we learn about two more, we are almost done and I pray it has been a blessing.
by Sharon O | Aug 18, 2020 | Uncategorized
Continuing with the basket of words, the next two words are together.
There is beauty and there is delight.
Very similar and very expressive.
When a trauma survivor begins to heal; the blinders fall off and they begin to see things in a new light.
There is a commercial on TV about a guy who gets a new pair of glasses that show color and because he is color blinded, it is an ‘experience’ of a life time.
To see what was once grey and colorless, and realize grass is green, roses are pink, the sky is blue.
That is what these words suggest.
Where there was once a lot of sadness and despair; the change within begins to reveal beauty.
Dictionary.com says:
beauty is a quality present pleasing, remarkable or amazing.
Then it says:
delight is a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment.
To see the world in a different view is the beginning of healing.
The survivor begins to see and feel safety.
They no longer wait for ‘something bad’ to take place, they see life as a gift to appreciate perhaps for the first time.
The bible talks about delight 106 times; it talks about beauty 37 times.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
When a survivor begins to trust, it changes so many things on so many levels. The new desire is wholeness and healing.
God also promises He will help in that process.
In Isaiah 61:3 It says: to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. (or despair)
What a wonderful promise of hope.
Continuing with the basket of words the twelfth and thirteenth words; we learn about beauty and delight.
