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Learning to confide

“If I make my bed in the depths, you are there…if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there…your right hand will hold me.” Psalm 139:8-10
As a survivor of childhood trauma it has been very hard for me to trust.
It has been even harder to share matters of the heart with anyone.
Have you ever had someone share something that was fragile to you and they nonchalantly shared it not thinking of confidentiality?
Yeah, it is hard to learn to confide when one has had a history of ‘non-trust’.
I have had to dig deep and learn to choose who is worthy or who has shown me their ability to keep confidences.
When I was in counseling I knew that whatever I told my therapist HE could not and would not share it to anyone.
The only way they can legally share, is if there is a life threatening issue or abuse that must be shared with authorities.
I knew that my ability to share was conditioned by HIS ability to listen and keep quiet.
In the book Whispers of Rest, Bonnie challenges us to share matters of the heart with the Lord.
To confide the deepest places so that it can be not hidden anymore.
The Holy Spirit is a good listener.
Bonnie challenges us to take a walk physically and talk to the Lord.
I find myself talking throughout the day, not in a prayer with my eyes shut, just an ‘I am here and I know you are here listening.’
As the verse says, YOU are HERE wherever I am and you hold me, you are present.
When we touch another one, it is says “I am with you.”
Your right hand will hold me.
Sometimes when we are sharing deep matters of our hearts, it is comforting to have someone lean in and show us they truly are in the moment with us.
I heard a wonderful Ted talk the other day I am going to post here.
It is about trust, confidence and truth telling. It is about choosing to confide and making a right choice.
It is incredibly challenging. Learning to confide is a gift we can give to ourselves, it is freeing.
So long as we confide to the right person.
Do you try to be that type of listener? Non judging, caring and sympathetic to the words?
Learning to confide is a gift. Let’s do our best to make it worth it to be a good listener.

Learning to move forward

The next word Bonnie uses in her book “Whispers of Rest” is come.
It is an invitation to move in a new direction and to take a risk.
“Come to me, all who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?
Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.
I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me…watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I won’t lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you.
Keep company with me, and you will learn to live freely and lightly.
For I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29
The word come means to arrive by movement.
It is purposeful, with the intention of moving forward.
Bonnie challenges us to enter into a quiet space, so that we can be restored and rested.
I love the line ” learn the unforced rhythms” reminding me of a teachable moment.
In order to do anything well and often we must learn it.
Let us find rest for our souls as we learn to breathe and move forward.

Learning to breathe

In Bonnie’s book Whispers of rest, she said, “If we turned back to only what we know, we would miss out on the beautiful journey God has for us.”
I don’t know about you but I thrive in familiar places. I do not like to be out of my comfort zone.
I find safety in what is known, and what I am sure of. But agree with me that sometimes staying in that rut of familiarity hampers our ability to see things new or different.
When we went up to Seattle it was new, and noisy and I felt out of ‘my zone’ for sure.
Some of it was pretty but it was not home for me.  I was not familiar with the town.
The same for when we flew to Hawaii. I learned to breathe and breathe more as our plane entered the air space.
I was not familiar with anything in Hawaii, but I allowed the journey to teach me lessons that needed to be learned.
As I ventured into the ‘not sure’ places such as wearing a swimsuit on a public beach.
Walking gently into the warm tropical water, and allowing it to be felt even if it was for a short amount of time.
I felt comfortable for the first time in years. Comfortable in who I was, as a middle age grandma, comfortable in my suit. I did not feel like I had to hide or withdraw.
I noticed other people had them on and no one was looking at me, in fact everyone was in their own space caring about nothing.  That is the way it is, in Hawaii.
I felt comfortable as I quietly learned to breathe, and experience the tropical breezes and bird noises.
“Be Still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
I did not let fear remove me from what was to be enjoyed.
Be STILL as you move away from your responsibilities and breathe in the calm.
I did not let my to do list get in the way of what was to be experienced.
Be Still as you trust in the process of what is ahead rather than what your imagination brings to you.
I can be my worst enemy with imaginings of what could or might happen that is possibly unsafe.
Be still as you look around right where you are and see the beauty that is all around you.
I can focus on the sinking sand under my feet or look up and be blessed by the beauty of the tropics.
It is all about choice and learning to breathe. Learning to enjoy the moments.
Last year I wrote about our journey in our trailer exploring many different places we were not familiar with.
It is good to step away from our chores and our responsibilities and just rest in God’s love for us.
Mark 6:31 “Come away with me by yourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.”

Whispers of Rest by Bonnie Gray

This book is life changing. Challenging. Truth telling and wonderful.
Author of “Whispers of Rest”, “Finding Spiritual Whitespace”, speaker & friend.

I challenge you to get the book and follow the guided videos.
You will be challenged and blessed.